Diabetics & Cancer doesn’t hide & so should we, Paige 46, Connecticut
My Trich Life Story in a nutshell started when I was about 12 yrs old. I started with my eyelashes and never pulled any hair on my head until my mid forties. I grew up in a very stressful household and for some reason this activity gave me great relief as well as great shame and emotional discomfort. I felt like an outcast, that people thought I was weird and still have those feelings today. Back then my parents just told me to stop, dermatologists just told me to stop, nobody knew about this possibly being some sort of biological disorder. The shamefulness was intense and still is to this day. Until more people come out and more medical research is done it will remain a shameful hidden secret for many. I know of know one else around me who suffers from this and that is not easy because i have know one to feel like I have something in common with or can talk with about it.
What I have learned is that it is some sort of compulsion brought on by stress and it is a very difficult activity to stop.I like the feeling of doing it but I hate myself when I’m done, I feel so down and bad about myself and you would think this would make me stop but it doesn’t it actually makes it worse. I have learned that there are many people out their somewhere that suffer from this affliction. I have never met anyone yet but I read testimonials and I am a member of TLC which is a great non-profit organization out in CA, the only thing is CA is very far from CT so I am happy to learn that Charlene has started one in PA. I wish that i was comfortable enough to speak about this in public but I’m not there yet, to many people don’t know anything about it and my self esteem couldn’t take the responses that i would get from non-pullers.
My advice is for people to go on-line do research and don’t give up and let yourself be known so these organizations can see to it that this disorder doesn’t go by unrecognized. I’m sure their are women and men sufferers out there in the millions, but until this disorder becomes more recognized we won’t have the support. I have beautiful hair and I get so disgusted with myself for doing this and I feel who would like me if I do this to myself. I’m a good person with a big heart and bring joy to a lot of people but not enough for myself. This is a horrible secret I have to hide and it’s not fair if this is a real medical disorder. Do diabetics or cancer patients have to hide? They are excepted and so should we. I am so proud of the people who have come out in public. That took an enormous amount of courage and maybe one day I will be able to do the same while feeling good about myself.
Add comment May 11th, 2009
